In Which I Attempt to Be Consistent

So, I said a few entries back that I was going to attempt to keep a consistent blog. And not only re-posting other ppl’s thoughts, but actually writing my own. I’ve mentioned before how therapeutic this is for me, and how I get agitated and stressed when I cant do my 2 favorite things – read and write. (Can you tell I’m a teacher? :P) Life has been stressful for a while. And moreso as I entered my 30’s a wk after the death of my father. Unexpressed grief and suppressed mourning have caused me to start having anxiety attacks. There are lots of changes I need to make in my life in order to keep myself from going off the deep end. And one of those changes is really trying hard to keep my thoughts from overwhelming my soul. To that end, I really need to make an effort to unload them here. I’m debating whether or not to keep my blog feeding into my Facebook.

There may be some entries I dont want the whole world (1350+ friends on FB) to be privy to. If you want to read my posts from now on, maybe you’ll need to bookmark this page or subscribe through an RSS feed.

Today’s topic (as it will be most every Monday) is on Marriage/Family. I’m dreading writing about this b/c my husband and I had a pretty intense wknd talking about stuff. But, I think I should focus on the positive. ๐Ÿ˜› Tom and I have been married for almost 5 months now. We’ve been together as a couple for almost 20 months. (Crazy, huh?!) And as is typical in the first yr of living together and adjusting to each other, we realize just how set in our ways we’ve come to be. This is especially pronounced in us because we married in our 30’s, instead of in our 20’s like a lot of couples do. When you’re in your 20’s you’re still exploring your identity and are more flexible. In your 30’s you’re pretty sure you’re finally accepting of who you are and it’s harsh to have someone criticize your behavior or ways of thinking. It makes you question yourself all over again, and worse – it makes you defensive so that you want to hold on all the more tightly to your way of thinking and doing things. Adjustment, just like sanctification, is a long process.

Happily, I must confess that in spite of this and the other things in our lives we’re currently transitioning out of and into (e.g. job and ministry), my husband and I are on the same page where it counts the most. Sure, we dont agree on everything. We’re not freakin’ clones of each other. ๐Ÿ˜‰ We have some pretty set convictions about how things should be and the way things should go. We’re also from two different cultural heritages, in spite of being raised in America. And sometimes our ideas clash. I think where we get stuck is looking to ourselves and not remembering Jesus in the midst of it. Common problem when you’re in the middle of a disagreement, dont you think? ๐Ÿ™‚ And once again, God has to remind me about the Scripture that he gave to Tom and I – separately – that eventually became our wedding theme verse.

Isaiah 55:8-9ย (New Living Translation)

8 โ€œMy thoughts are nothing like your thoughts,โ€ says the Lord.
โ€œAnd my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine.
9 For just as the heavens are higher than the earth,
so my ways are higher than your ways
and my thoughts higher than your thoughts.

Right. I remember now. God’s ways are higher, His thoughts are higher, and they are BETTER and BEYOND what we think. I’d forgotten. As I always do. In general, ppl are self-centered. We always think we’re better than the next person. I think the beauty of marriage is that the person we’re with makes us better. Marriage is not about getting our way, or about our spouse fulfilling our every expectation, or even *gasp* about making us happy. *makes a strangled sound* Nope. Marriage is about growth. In other words, as set as we are in our ways, it’s time to go the humble route and open our minds to other ways of thinking and doing. And in so doing, we will become better at BEING. May it be so.

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