Start of School-yr Anxiety

Dude, school’s starting up soon! Gah! >_< This is a teacher’s nightmare. When I was a student, the start of the school yr was exciting! New clothes, new supplies, new classrooms, new teachers – yay! As a teacher, the start of the school yr is anything BUT exciting! New students, new lessons, no materials, small classrooms, large classes!

+__+ It makes me want to quit teaching every single yr. EVERY YR, I tell you!! =X People who dont teach in NYC have no clue how bad it is out here. I love my school actually, but the Dept of Ed is inept beyond comprehension. It makes everything suck that much more.

Ok, calm down… breathe…

With a lot of soothing and encouragement from my husband-to-be, the Counselor, I’m actually a lot better about things this yr. It’s a mindset thing really. I’m in my 5th yr of teaching (even tho I had a hiatus in between), and I love my school. I know what I’m teaching, and I know better how I like things organized. It’s just that I’m usually a wreck in Sept and I’m up all nite lesson planning.

Gah! No more! No more! Mustn’t let teaching consume my life any longer!! Must enjoy! Enjoy my teaching and my planning and then STOP EFFING PLANNING so I can enjoy the rest of my day. I think I have to give myself a 5pm cap everyday. That’s the latest I’ll do work. Not like 2 yrs ago, when I returned to teaching and was up every nite for a whole month til 2 or 3am. I slept during my prep periods b/c I was so exhausted. Does any profession have the right to demand that of you when they dont give enough compensation in return? Bah, I’m too American. People in India work in matchbook factories for 17 hrs a day and one meal. I need to shut up and start being more grateful. It is a mindset. This yr, I will be the master of my teaching. It will not control me.

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