Jan. 17. 2006
Hello my Friends and Family,
Hope 2006 has been good to you so far. Personally, for me – it’s a toss-up. I’ve had highs (CEMC Retreat, my Birthday celebration, YeeMing’s baby shower), and a lot of lows…
If you’ve gotten the chance to talk with me in the last wk, you know that I’ve been kinda depressed. I didnt mean to get like this. It sorta happened without my realizing it. And while I’m not sure of the exact cause, I do know that it has a lot to do with my work here at CCHC and my thoughts about my future. I’ve been feeling really torn. There are a lot of things going on in my life and I think my emotions simply derailed in me. So, it’s been a difficult start to the New Yr… (Maybe I can start again with Chinese New Yr at the end of the month!)
Anyway, I am now entering another stage of fasting – this one for 9 days. I am fasting concerning my decision about whether or not to stay at CCHC. If I do leave, I’m planning on leaving this yr at the end of the summer and return to the public school system in the Fall. After my fasting is done on the 27th, I plan to visit my old school on the 30th and see if they can hire me back.
This isnt an easy decision for me to make, considering that my calling to come here was so clear, it was practically an audible Voice. I dont know if I’m waiting for another audible Voice to tell me it’s time to go, or if I’m just stalling. I’m usually a very decisive person, as some of you know all too well… Either way, I need to make this decision for my sanity. It’s literally killing my joy. Please pray for me as I fast for the rest of this month, as well as continue to carry out my ministry tasks here at CCHC and at work. All I wanna do is go away for a while… But I cant.
Any words from the Lord – confirmations, encouragements and email prayers will be very much appreciated as I struggle thru this. And I also continue to need your financial support – as always. Thanks to those who made my birthday this yr extra special this yr by sending me cards, taking me out to karaoke and dinner, and giving support checks. I love you guys.
Support checks can be made to “OCM Vision Church” with my name in the Memo.